Food for Thought

• All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• Drink 'til (s)he's cute, but stop before the wedding.
• Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
• He who hesitates is probably right.
• No one is listening until you make a mistake.
• Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
• To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
• Two wrongs are only the beginning.
• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of bad memory.